


disorder

by castielsass



Series: Therapy [2]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, Anxiety Disorder, First Time, M/M, Oral Sex, magician's assistant matthew because hell yea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 16:27:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1694873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielsass/pseuds/castielsass





	disorder

“I fucking hate this job,” Matthew said venomously, throwing his sequined jacket onto the grass beside Will.  
  
  
“I thought you liked the magician,” Will said. He offered the cigarette to Matthew and he took it. Glitter shone on the back of his hand and Will grinned at him. He scowled, in unusually bad temper after work.  
  
  
“Gideon’s alright, but Chilton. Fucking Chilton,” he said bitterly. “He’s a fucking closeted hack. And he steals, fucking blatantly rips off Gideon’s tricks, like as if he’s not gonna notice or something.”  
  
  
Matthew drew hard on the cigarette, frowning at the cherry tip. “What the fuck is this?”  
  
  
“What? They’re Pall Malls. They’re all I could get.”  
  
  
“They taste like shit,” Matthew complained and Will ignored him. He’d calm down in a while, once he’d shed all of his magician’s assistant garb. He sat in front of Will, inhaling the smoke with a deep furrow in his brow, like the taste offended him. Will reached out for the half, sulkily.  
“If it’s so bad you don’t have to smoke it, gimme it I’ll finish-”  
  
  
“No, I’ll smoke it,” Matthew said, grudgingly. “You shouldn’t even be smoking.”  
  
  
“Oh Jesus,” Will said. “You’re gonna give me a lecture? You’re only a year older than me, you fucking dork.”  
  
  
“If I didn’t have to save up to get out of here,” Matthew said with fury burning in his tone. “I’d quit this fucking job, and smoke what I wanted. Fuck Gideon. Fuck Chilton.”  
  
  
Will moved back a little on the grass, leaves itching his bare calves, like he could escape Matthew’s anger if he just got out of range.  
  
  
“What’re you moving away for?” Matthew demanded and Will scowled at him.  
  
  
“Fucking stop. I know your job sucks, I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault. Calm down,” he said. Matthew stubbed the butt into the grass, rubbing the cherry into the dry leaves and watching them smoke. He took a few minutes, staring at the burn marks scorched into the grass.  
  
  
“Sorry,” he said after a while. Will put the pack of cigarettes down between them with the box of matches on top. Matthew took the matches immediately and struck one up. He slid forward on the grass and took Will’s hand, and laid it on his folded knee.  
  
The match burned bright in the evening dimness beside his hand. Will waited, curious and a little frightened, but Matthew blew out the flame and checked the tip for heat against his lower lip. When it was cool and crumbling, he used the tip to draw a lopsided heart on the back of Will’s hand and Will blushed. He tried to pull back in embarrassment but Matthew held firm and finished the shape carefully, although dry ash and crumbling soot fluttered onto Will’s skin. He lifted Will’s hand and blew gently over the skin.  
  
  
“Sorry,” he said again, and looked behind him. He pulled Will forward, upsetting the pack of cigarettes and settling Will neatly in his lap. Will squirmed, looking around automatically. The dry patch of grass behind the bicycle shed was almost always empty, except for them, but panic surged in his stomach anyway.  
  
  
“Someone’s gonna see,” Will said quietly, but he didn’t move off.  
  
  
“People already saw,” Matthew reminded him. “Your dad already knows, and the worst he did was send you to a counsellor. And that can’t be that bad can it? I know you get panicky, maybe he’ll help with your anxiety.”  
  
  
Will shrugged and he let himself sink backwards a little. The line of his spine fell in nicely with the forward curve of Matthew’s pronounced muscles and a small surge of jealousy burned in his fingertips like a forgotten match.  
  
  
“Why do they make you wear this stuff?” Will asked, turning a little and plucking at the leather singlet Matthew wore. He squirmed a little on Matthew’s lap, the scratch of the red skinny jeans against his own loose jeans pleasant. He reached and held one of the black boots Matthew wore, wrapping his fingers around the cool leather, feeling Matthew’s toes move under the material in a strangely intimate way.  
  
  
“Y’know, magician’s assistant stuff,” Matthew said with a hint of humour. “Show off the goods a little,” he said and flexed one arm, half-joking, half-peacocking.  
  
  
“The goods are pretty good,” Will allowed. His heart still beat a little faster with anxiety when he flirted with Matthew, as if part of him expected that one day he would say something and Matthew would sit up and tumble him out of his lap and reject him.  
  
Matthew grinned at him though, and although the compliment was weak he treated it like a love letter, carefully crafted and infinitely important. Will ducked his head in embarrassment and Matthew kissed the back of his neck.  
  
Arousal surged through his whole body, curling pleasantly in his stomach and down to his thighs where they burned hot, pressed against the hard muscle of Matthew’s thighs. He wriggled a little in embarrassment, and Matthew’s hands landed on his hips, holding him still.  
  
  
“Stop,” he said.  
  
  
“Why?” Will dared, letting his hands slip from his own lap down to Matthew’s thighs underneath him. He curled his fingers around the curve of muscle, fingernails scratching against denim.  
  
  
“‘Cause you’re gonna make me hard,” Matthew said, infinitely patient. Will lifted his feet closer to his body, curling up more neatly in Matthew’s lap.  
  
  
“Maybe I want to,” he muttered, and his hand came up to hide his own mouth in automatic embarrassment.  
  
  
“Maybe we should wait ‘till you don’t haveta say ‘maybe’ at the start of that sentence,” Matthew said, teasing and kind all at once.  
“I want to,” Will repeated and Matthew let his hands slide around Will’s waist.  
  
  
“Are you sure?” Matthew asked, and his nails scritched pleasantly at the wiry line of hair over Will’s stomach. Will nodded, slow, and pulled himself forward out of Matthew’s lap. Matthew didn’t try to stop him, and Will knew that if he stood up now and walked away Matthew’d let him and not be angry.  
  
If he wanted he could fuck off to his own house right now and not even speak to Matty, and wait until the next time he saw him to say ‘I got spooked’ and Matthew’d forgive him immediately, if he’d ever been angry at all. He’d be disappointed, for sure, but he’d never put that feeling on Will, would never blame him for it.  
  
  
“I want to,” Will said again. “Do you?” He knelt in front of Matthew’s open legs and kissed him.  
  
  
“Yeah,” Matthew said quietly, as if in answer to the question and the kiss. He pulled his jacket closer and lay it out behind Will.  
  
  
Will unbuttoned the plaid shirt over his white tshirt and Matthew touched his index finger to the underside of Will’s chin, coaxing his head up. When Will’s head lifted, Matthew pressed his mouth, warm and dry at first to the soft skin at the curve of his throat, then his lips parted and Will’s dick throbbed a little in his jeans when Matthew’s breath whooshed soft and damp and hot over his skin.  
  
  
“I wanna blow you,” Will said, and he said it so quiet and so close to Matthew’s ear it barely made him blush.  
“Are you s-”  
  
  
“Yeah. Is that ok?” Will said. He let his ass fall onto the backs of his heels and dipped his fingers under the clingy vest, pressing a kiss to the hollow of Matthew’s throat. Matthew’s fingers came up the back of Will’s shirt, sliding under the thin white tee and coming forward to his nipples.  
  
  
“That’s ok,” Matthew said, and it came out like ‘thash ok’ and Will wasn’t quite sure why that turned him on more, but it did. Matthew’s mouth came down to his own hands where his thumbs were rubbing slow, teasing circles over the material peaked over Will’s nipples.  
  
  
“I like your voice, so much,” Will said and his voice was a little unsteady which embarrassed him.  
  
  
“Shut up,” Matthew said, like he was embarrassed, or he thought Will was mocking him. Will moved impossibly closer, until his knees were wide either side of Matthew’s outstretched legs and his dick pressed hard through his jeans to Matthew’s stomach. Matty grinned at him and Will blushed as if in reply, ducking his head for another kiss.  
  
  
“I do, though,” Will insisted. Matthew ducked his head this time, a pleasant smile playing around the corners of his mouth, pressing a kiss beside Will’s nipple. Will twitched and his cock felt heavy in his jeans, pressing hot against his underwear and leaking already. What guy got off on having their nipples played with? A wash of shame foamed up in his chest but before it could make him move, Matthew’s mouth came down hot on Will’s left nipple, breathing damp over the sensitive skin. He licked the thin fabric covering his nipple and bit down softly.  
  
Will’s cock spurted precome and he had to get his jeans down right now, or he’d leak through his underwear and stain them. He reached for the button but Matthew switched to his other nipple and his hands shook. The wet fabric stood peaked by Will’s hard nipple and the cool of the evening air chilled him and made his hands unsteady. After a fumble, he got his jeans unbuttoned and shoved down around his thighs and Matthew pushed the hem of Will’s shirt up over his chest. He was still wearing his plaid overshirt and the back of it lay soft against his lower back when Matthew kissed down his stomach.  
  
Will cursed and looked down, but Matthew kept moving, encouraging Will to kneel over his lap, his cock pressing forward at the seam of his boxers. Matthew touched the tip of his cock through his underwear, rubbing the precome-wet fabric over the tip of his dick and Will’s thighs trembled. Nobody’d ever touched his dick before. Nobody had wanted to, but Matthew did.  
  
  
“‘s ok if I take your underwear off?” Matthew asked and Will almost laughed. Something strangely excited made him giggle, delight tinged with hysteria.  
“I was gonna blow you,” Will said, a little dizzy at the soft circles Matthew was stroking into the wet fabric over the tip of his dick.  
  
  
“You can in a minute, if you still want,” Matthew said. “I wanna get you off, is that o-”  
  
  
“Fine, that’s fine,” Will interrupted and for a minute he was unsure about what he should be doing. Was he supposed to be kissing Matthew more? Should he have insisted on getting Matthew off first? Unsurety made him grasp onto Matthew’s shoulders, the thick leather of his vest held in his fists and Matthew looked up at him like he knew what was going through Will’s mind.  
  
  
“It’s ok,” he encouraged. Anxiety had softened his dick a little but Matthew kissed him and lifted his hand from Will’s dick, taking pressure off of him. His thumb went back to Will’s chest, rubbing harder circles over the sensitive peak, precome sinking into the fabric.  
  
  
“Oh, shit,” Will said automatically when Matthew pulled away from his mouth gently, planting a soft, dry kiss to the corner of his mouth.  
  
“Touch me,” Will requested and Matthew’s hands came to Will’s hips, easing his underwear down, pulling the band over the hard curve of Will’s dick. Precome dribbled down the shaft and Matthew grinned at him. Something pleasant turned over in Will’s stomach, like received approval and Matthew’s mouth pressed kisses to the curve of Will’s stomach.  
  
Something bizarrely like hiccups bumbled up in Will’s chest, anxiety and happiness and arousal all coalescing into hysteria. He hiccuped and Matthew laughed, and lifted up from his stomach, a grin wide and warm on his face. Will giggled a little, hiccuping again. Matthew’s smile didn’t fade as he pressed kisses to Will’s face and wrapped his hand, warm and wide around Will’s cock.  
  
He made a stupid noise, like surprise and his hips jerked forward roughly. Matthew didn’t seem to mind, even when his cock streaked precome over his vest, he just kept moving over WIll’s skin, touching everywhere, his thumbing gliding wetly over the sensitive tip, squeezing tight around his base, stroking down his balls and behind them, his knuckle stroking over Will’s perineum. Will’s hips moved quickly, in short uncontrollable thrusts, but Matthew didn’t jerk him off, instead touching him all over like it was all he wanted to do, was get his hands on Will.  
  
  
“Oh, shit,” Will said shakily, and Matthew took that as permission or encouragement, wrapping his precome-wet hand around Will’s cock and stroking, gentle but firm, twice, three times before Will stuttered something without consonants and came, his hands clenching in Matthew’s shoulders. His cum streaked over Matthew’s vest and dripped onto his jeans, marking the crease of his hip and and uncontrollable laugh bubbled up in Will’s tight throat at the image.  
“I’m so sorry,” Will laughed, pressing his hand over his mouth, and not really meaning it. Matthew grinned at him and pressed their foreheads together and Will laughed harder. When his emotional fit had passed, Will looked up at Matthew, a little worried he would be upset or annoyed.  
  
But he didn’t seem to be, and he kissed Will when he saw the small frown of anxiety on his face. Will buried his face in Matthew’s shoulder in response and spread his legs enough to get his hands down to Matthew’s jeans, unbuttoning them with much less difficulty than he’d faced with his own, even orgasm-lax and strangely emotional. Matthew’s cock was hard, and Will wondered if it had been since the start, because when Matthew lifted his hips and helped Will pull his jeans and underwear halfway down his thighs, it was red and wet.  
  
  
Will stroked the length of it first, slowly with the edge of his thumb, sort of getting a feel. His skin was soft, but Will could feel the rhythmic pulsing of a vein on the underside. Leaves crunched under his knees and Will bent to pressed his tongue to the tip of Matthew’s cock.  
  
He didn’t jerk forward which Will appreciated, but his thighs trembled a little. Matthew’s hands came back behind him, to support his upper body as Will sat over his knees, bent at the waist to lick up the hard line of his cock. It was long and thick, but not overwhelming and as Will traced his tongue over the circumcision scar, a splurt of precome hit the back of his tongue. Will wondered for a minute, as his wrapped his hand around the base of Matthew’s cock and Matthew made a quiet noise. He guided the curved head into his mouth and sucked gently, instinctively covering his teeth with his lips and tongue.  
  
Matthew’s hips jerked then, but Will was expecting it, and he moved back easily, sinking down with his hips. Will wondered how it would feel inside him, fucking him and then blushed at the obscene thought, as if Matthew’s cock wasn’t bulging the cheek of his mouth.  
  
He moved a little quicker, and his saliva was a good lubricant when Matthew’s hips started to work without him realising. His hands had slipped in the grass and he was lying on his back panting as Will worked his cock, and for a minute Will felt inordinately proud. He swallowed around Matthew’s cock and Matt’s hand came down quickly and wrapped gently around the curls of Will’s hair. He didn’t move him harshly, but he held his hair tight and when Will bobbed up and down, Matthew’s hand tightened and pulled the clumps of curls pleasantly.  
  
  
“Oh, fuck, Will,” Matthew said mindlessly, and arousal made Will’s pelvis warm. He pressed down further, bobbing rhythmically and not really trying to swallow the whole thing. His hand jerked him off low where his mouth couldn’t reach and Matthew’s thighs trembled between Will’s knees. Matthew’s hand tightened in Will’s hair and when Will looked up he was bent back, tight as a bowstring as his hips worked.  
  
  
“Oh shit, I’m gonna,” Matthew said and a harsh gasp drowned out the rest of his words. His fingers unwound from Will’s hair quickly, even as he came so Will could move back if he needed to. He didn’t, swallowing around the sensitive tip, and licking at the head until Matthew’s hand came back to pull him off, shaking a little.  
  
After a minute, Matthew pulled his jeans and underwear up haphazardly, buttoning them but not zipping them. A surge of pride made Will grin at Matthew, sweat and messy with dry leaves getting caught in his hair.  
  
  
“That was good,” Matthew said quietly, and his lisp was even more pronounced than usual. So, Will slid forward, his knee crushing the forgotten cigarette box.  
  
  
“Yeah,” Will said, and caught himself from falling forward with his hands. He pressed a kiss to Matthew’s mouth and kept his lips closed until Matthew tilted his head and opened him up.  
  
  
“What time is it?” Will asked suddenly, pulling back. Matthew looked confused for a second before he checked his watch, a cheap black leather thing Will had given him for his last birthday.  
  
  
“Just after nine,” Matthew said. “You need a lift?”  
  
  
“Yeah, but can you drop me down the street a little away from my house?” Will said. “My dad’s gonna fucking kill me.”


End file.
